My Midnight Sun: Saving Bella
by TheSingingGirl
Summary: Shock! Horror! Midnight Sun will not be published! So to alleviate just a tiny bit of the suffering, here is Edward's POV from when Bella leaves Alice and Jasper in the airport, to when she wakes up. A lot goes on while Bella's unconscious...


AN: I was devastated when I heard the news, and I'm sure you were too. Midnight Sun may not be published!! So, obviously I had to do something about that. And it just so happened that I'd been writing this fanfic on holiday...

Arrival

Before we had even disembarked, I could hear Alice's thoughts, screaming at me. Emmett and Carlisle looked with alarm at my suddenly frozen face, realising something was desperately wrong as my eyes widened in horror. Before either of them could ask I had my phone out, and to hell with the signals interrupting the plane's electronics.

"Alice, how did this happen?" I almost growled into the phone; I knew she could hear the terror that coloured my anger.

"She ran away, she's almost with him, but Jasper and I couldn't do this on our own, the blood – he would make things worse." Her words were running together but I understood.

"Why didn't you _see_?" I demanded.

"I saw her with him but I didn't see how she got there, that it was her decision which created that future."

"Alice –" I was close to losing control and Carlisle gently took the phone from me. He spoke quickly but calmly.

"Alice, we're coming. Go to Arrivals and get us some transport. I assume that you know where they are?"

Her voice buzzed through the phone and if I'd tried I could have made out the words or heard them in Carlisle's head, but I was past concentrating on that now. Bella was in danger, Bella needed me, and I had left her.

The plane doors were opening now and the three of us were already standing, making for the exit. A stewardess moved to stop us, but the look on my face prevented her from saying anything. I couldn't block her thoughts.

_God, what's wrong with him? He looks like someone's just died, no, like he just killed his own mother!_

I knew I should care that I was moving just a bit faster than was possible for a human, but I couldn't make myself slow any further.

Carlisle had evidently finished his conversation with Alice, but I took the phone back before he had a chance to hang up.

"Alice." I had to steady myself to ask "Will she be okay?"

The pause on the other end of the line said everything. I shut the phone.

Race

As soon as was humanly possible – a thought that would usually have made me laugh at the irony – we were running through the crowded terminal. We were going too fast for anyone to see us, though a few of the thoughts that I couldn't tune out questioned a sudden breeze as we flew past the innocent tourists. The few times we had to slow – for the metal detectors, to show our tickets – I grew more irritated and more terrified. The staff at the airport were beginning to notice and Carlisle flashed a warning look towards me, so I calmed my face into a hard mask, a feat made far more difficult because I knew Bella would have seen through me in a second.

Emmett had not spoken except to ask Carlisle what was happening. Generally, he was boisterous, and less than tactful or sensitive, so it surprised me when he said silently, _Edward. We will save her. Believe me._

But how could I?

Though most of me was entirely focused on finding Bella, part of my mind was concentrating on what I would do if we found her too late. I knew without question that I could not live without her. I marvelled again at what she meant to me. I had met her only months ago, only spoken to her for a few weeks, but my life would be entirely meaningless if I lost her. I couldn't go on if she…

We reached the exit then and I cut the thought off just short of making the decision. If Alice saw what I was planning, my family would find some way to stop me. I listened out for Alice and Jasper and sure enough they were there, with Jasper behind the wheel of a Ferrari. Normally, I would have worried about being conspicuous but today I didn't care. What mattered was that it was the fastest car around. Without looking for Carlisle and Emmett, I pelted for the car, knowing they'd be following. In my haste, I nearly ran into a patch of sunlight and Emmett knocked me forcibly to the side. Irrationally, I wanted to snarl at him for delaying me, even for half a second, but I knew it would help no one if a human caught sight of my skin sparkling. I remembered Bella's reaction to me in the meadow, her delightful face captivated in awe. What if someone stopped the car? What if we didn't make it?

I forced myself to stop and concentrated on my family.

Jasper visibly winced as I hurled myself into the car and I knew my emotions were affecting him. A wave of calmness emanated from the driver's seat, but it couldn't take hold. A first. I had never been so violently afraid. Emmett was fidgeting, itching to fight. His thoughts were full of James and the imminent, inevitable battle. Alice had her head in her hands and the flickers of visions filled her head and mine as she combed the immediate future. I gasped as two came side by side: Bella dead, and Bella with her eyes glowing scarlet; she was pale, beautiful… like me. It was impossible to decide which was worse. Only Carlisle was calm, his perfect serenity clearly inscribed on his face, but even his thoughts betrayed fear. It pained me to hear that his main concern was how I would cope. He was preparing for the worst.

We were speeding through the streets of Phoenix now, Jasper's foot never leaving the accelerator. As he drove, he explained exactly what had occurred. I seethed in rage. How dare Bella do this to me? How dare I let her out of my sight for a single second? As soon as I heard where we were going I listened as hard as I could in the direction of the ballet studio. We were too far away. I had never felt so helpless.

Jasper continued his explanation. "She wrote a letter for her mother, but we don't understand this. Alice saw her at her mother's place, but she left the letter with us. Why?"

I snapped my head up. "She wasn't leaving it for her. She was leaving it for us." For me, I thought.

Without breaking her concentration, Alice pulled out the letter from her black leather bag in the footwell and gave it to me. I ripped it open and saw I was right. My name leapt out at me.

_Edward._

_I love you. I am so sorry. He has me mom, and I have to try. I know it may not work. I am so very, very sorry._

_Don't be angry with Alice and Jasper. If I get away from them it will be a miracle. Tell them thank you for me. Alice especially, please._

_And please, please don't come after him. That's what he wants, I think. I can't bear it if anyone has to be hurt because of me, especially you. Please, this is the only thing I can ask you. For me._

_I love you. Forgive me._

"Bella" I whispered out loud. Closing my eyes, I filled in the missing information. "James has got her mother and she's gone to meet him. She wants us not to come after them, she doesn't want us hurt."

Silence greeted my words. There was nothing else that needed to be said.

An intake of breath from the passenger seat caught my attention and another of Alice's visions filled my head. The dance studio, Alice, Carlisle, Bella and myself. I shuddered at the state Bella was in, the hideous injuries, the pool of blood, but that wasn't the reason behind Alice's reaction. I forced myself to take the entire scene in and I convulsed in terror and disgust. Was it really possible that after all this time I could still do that to my Bella? Could I possibly put my lips to her warm, fragrant, human skin and drink her alluring blood?

With a jerk Alice came out of the vision and snapped her head round to look at me. I knew my face would mirror hers exactly as she gazed at me in absolute horror. Then suddenly her face changed as I heard her make a connection in her head.

_You're not killing her, Edward. _I flinched at the word. _You're saving her._ Again the picture of the newborn vampire filled our minds and Alice's face relaxed in relief even as my eyes tightened in fury.

"Saving her?" I hissed. The others started, entering the conversation halfway through as I broke the tense silence. "By condemning her to an eternity of darkness and blood? By taking away her _soul_?"

She didn't have time to react. With a squeal of brakes the car skidded to a halt and we all moved at top speed, leaving the doors wide open and the engine running as we darted across the sunny, thankfully deserted, sidewalk and burst into the studio. Carlisle stopped us in the lobby – we couldn't give James an excuse to kill her. We looked through the glass partition door and watched.

Futures

The mirrors panelling the walls reflected the scene a thousand times over, intensifying the horrific image. Bella and James were at the far end of the studio. She was on the floor next to a wall of broken mirrors, screaming in agony. The sound twisted and tore at my long silent heart. I couldn't see her beloved face as the tracker towered over her.

James was distracted. He hadn't even heard us enter. "Wouldn't you rather have Edward try to find me?" he asked and the rage built in my chest. But Bella was so strong. She was trying to save me with her dying breath. I wanted to tell her not to, I didn't need it, I wasn't worth it.

"No! No, Edward don't –" It made me furious to hear the pain in her weakened voice. I remembered Bella telling me that she cried when she was angry, and I could feel the broken, false, incomplete sobs tearing out of my chest as James threw her forcefully into the shattered glass.

Abruptly, my nostrils flared as the scent of Bella's blood filled the studio. The sweet, familiar, irresistible aroma drove all thought of waiting from my mind. James was thirsty. Smelling her blood, letting the red haze cloud my mind… so was I.

A deep roar ripped from my throat as I ran straight towards the tracker. I could barely think of the human behind him as Bella. I was the predator and she was my prey, that was all. Desperation fuelled me as I grabbed James roughly from behind and flung him over my shoulder. I bent over the human girl, and the venom flowed in my mouth in preparation for the kill.

Then I saw her face.

The blood poured from her forehead into her eyes, down her cheeks in a sick parody of crying. Her white blouse was stained crimson. It was almost an invitation and yet I stopped, because in that second I recognised her as the reason for my life, for my entire existence. I would not, could not, be the reason for her death. For that brief instant I was so sure that everything would be okay. And then my world imploded.

A barrage of sound hit me, both frantic thoughts and snarls of rage as my brothers fought for Bella's life. A high pitched keening tore through the room as Emmett tore at the tracker's limbs, and James' feral howl was one of pain and defeat now. Suddenly the inhuman screech cut off and I knew Bella was safe from him now. Over the symphony of violence I heard Alice and Carlisle pelting towards Bella and I; Alice's thoughts leapt into focus as a myriad of worries and fears. She had obviously seen the outcome as I ran to Bella, she had also seen my change of heart. But now was not the time to discuss the threat I posed to my love. She was in enough danger from her injuries.

"Oh no, Bella, no!" I cried. Snatching her to me, cradling her in my arms, I could hear how weak and irregular her pulse was.

"Bella, please!" She was slipping, I could almost feel her drifting away from me.

"Bella, listen to me, please, please, Bella, please!" I didn't know if I was pleading with her or some nameless, faceless deity. What God could refuse Bella life? But the blood continued to pour; it stained my shirt as I clutched her to me as though it was me dying and she was what kept me alive.

"Carlisle!" I called desperately; he was already beside me, examining her at lightening speed. I couldn't help but feel it wasn't fast enough, and my own eyes flickered over her beautiful, broken body. Her leg twisted obscenely below the knee, the bruising already showing through. Her chest fluttered as she took quick shallow breaths, wincing with every movement. Her porcelain skin was torn everywhere with gashes on her head, her hands, her neck… it seemed like the damage had no end. I felt every injury, every scratch, bruise and broken bone as if it were my own.

"Bella, Bella, no, oh please, no, no!"

I didn't know what caused it – maybe it was her pain finally surfacing or maybe my despairing hands touched a sore spot – but she suddenly cried out. I replied in kind: "Bella!"

Carlisle's composed voice penetrated my reverie of horror. "She's lost some blood, but the head wound isn't deep. Watch out for her leg, it's broken."

His soft words triggered a howl of absolute fury from my lips. He continued, unruffled, "Some ribs, too, I think."

With all the tenderness I could muster I tried to lay her down, to avoid a rib puncturing one of her lungs. I think she felt something because she said a single word. It was faint and weak, a mere shadow of what her perfect voice was capable of, but it still was the sweetest sound I could have heard.

"Edward."

My response was rushed as I hurried to comfort her. "Bella, you're going to be fine. Can you hear me, Bella? I love you."

"Edward." Her voice was no stronger.

"Yes, I'm here." I would always be there for her.

"It hurts," she whimpered. If I was human, it would have broken my heart.

"I know, Bella, I know – can't you do anything?" I begged Carlisle.

He had finished his examination. "My bag, please… Hold your breath, Alice, it will help."

I hadn't noticed Alice's distress. I hadn't even thought that after that one moment of monstrous madness it should have been harder for me.

"Alice?" Bella asked. She could hear us. She was conscious.

"She's here, she knew where to find you," I told her, trying to keep her with me.

"My hand hurts," she said. Her voice was barely a whisper, but I could hear her pain.

"I know, Bella. Carlisle will give you something, it will stop," I reassured her. Abruptly, she screamed.

"My hand is burning!" she shrieked.

Why her hand? Of all her wounds, why was she screaming about her hand? It was only a cut. I looked closer. It was a cut in the shape of a crescent. A cut that was burning. I stopped breathing, purely from fear.

"Bella?"

Her eyes had flashed open, but I could tell she couldn't see anything. The blood was blinding her. I was scared as to what emotions might have been saturating those eyes if only I could see them behind the wall of liquid scarlet.

She was beginning to twist in agony, her face contorting as each movement set off a fresh wave of pain.

"The fire! Someone stop the fire!"

For an instant, it wasn't Bella's voice I heard. Of all the people in the world, it was Rosalie's. The one person in the world who disliked Bella the most. The last person I had heard and seen undergoing the excruciating change from a brilliant, breakable human into a vampire.

"Carlisle!" I shouted. "Her hand!"

"He bit her." Carlisle's soft voice was no longer calm. His blank statement sounded appalled.

Alice spoke for the first time. Gently, she brushed the blood from Bella's eyes. "Edward, you have to do it." _You can only make this easier for her._

"No!" The word burst out of me instinctively. I knew what she meant. Of course I did. With this little venom in her body, the transformation would be so long. A week? Was that possible? Could I stand it? Yet it still wasn't enough to make me bite her. I would not be her killer.

"Alice…" Bella moaned. Did she know what we were talking about? No, she couldn't. I had never told her of Alice's vision, never told her how our non-lives had begun.

"There may be a chance," Carlisle interjected. _To keep her human, _he added in his head.

"What?" I pleaded.

"See if you can suck the venom back out. The wound is fairly clean."

I heard it in his head before he said it, but I still couldn't fully comprehend what he was saying. He was treating Bella's head now, stitching the skin back together.

"Will that work?" asked Alice. Her voice was strained and I knew it was not the strain of resisting so much blood, but the fear of losing Bella, and through her, the fear of losing me.

"I don't know," said Carlisle as I listened dumbly, "but we have to hurry."

"Carlisle, I…" I looked down at Bella as I spoke. "I don't know if I can do that." Even I could hear in my voice the pain of the conflict that raged in my mind.

"It's your decision, Edward, either way." _You could let the transformation continue. _"I can't help you. I have to get this bleeding stopped here if you're going to be taking blood from her hand."

Bella continued to writhe in agony. She was gasping now, and then she screamed.

"Edward!"

Her eyes opened again and I stared into them. I was sure the sight of the pain in her deep chocolate eyes would haunt me forever. Still, I paused.

"Alice, get me something to brace her leg!" Carlisle instructed. "Edward, you must do it now, or it will be too late."

As if to give me longer, time seemed to freeze as I gazed at my Bella's face.

There were three possible options in this situation. First, I could do nothing. The venom would spread, slowly, and she would become one of us. Selfishly, I felt a flicker of pleasure at the idea. To finally kiss her, without worrying, to have her for eternity… But I shuddered away from that thought as quickly as I had warmed to it. I could not do that to Bella, she who was so full of life. That cancelled out the second option, too. To bite her again, to force more venom into her system, to at least speed the change. No. I couldn't steal Bella's soul.

My third alternative was to do what I had lusted after all those happy weeks ago, when I had first met Isabella Swan in Biology. I would drink her blood. But that option itself had two endings. Either I would stop once the venom was out, saving her, or… I would not be able to. I would carry on drinking, intoxicated, until I had drained her dry. As horrifying as the idea was, I knew it was the most likely result.

Even with all this logical reasoning rushing round my head, there was one overriding thought. Bella had to live. Bella had to live. The words repeated like an all-consuming mantra. Carlisle was wrong. It was never my decision.

Before doubts could begin to creep in, I reached for Bella's hand. Her skin, always so warm, was like an open flame, blazing hot against my frozen fingers. I allowed myself one brief glance at her beloved face before locking her hand in mine and pressing my icy lips to her scorched skin.

The blood, Bella's blood, started to flow and greedily I gulped. I had thought nothing could be more delightful and tormenting than the smell of her, but this… this nectar pouring down my throat was heaven in liquid form. The haze enveloped me again. I stopped thinking. I stopped existing. There was nothing but the blood.

But no, that wasn't true. Slipping over my tongue was another substance, sweet and yet so bitter at the same time, contaminating the blood, tainting it. Some part of my mind registered the taste: it was venom. Venom. Venom in Bella's blood. Bella. Bella had to live. I loved her.

With a shock, I remembered where I was, who I was, what I was doing. I could see Alice restraining Bella's legs, Carlisle holding her head and both of them staring at me.

_Will he stop, oh Edward, it's Bella, remember it's Bella, I can't see, it keeps changing._

Alice's thoughts were frantic; she was blind as to how this would end. Carlisle spoke to me.

_Edward. You love her. You can do this. I know you. I trust you._

With a tremendous effort I forced myself to concentrate on the venom as I drank. I could still taste it, yet I must have been swallowing for so long. How much more could she lose?

And then it was gone. I knew that if I took even a millilitre more of clean, pure blood, I would lose control, so with all the strength I had I forced myself back, dropping my love's hand as though it were burning me. I retreated across the studio at lightening speed, flinging myself into a ball, curled up against a broken mirror. I stopped breathing to remove any further temptation. But I could not stop myself from gazing at her.

She was calm now, her writhing halted. Her skin, always so pale, was whiter than snow, almost the same colour as my own deathly hue. Her leg was braced with part of the ballet barre, and Carlisle had sewn up the gash on her forehead. She looked hideous, but she still looked beautiful. I loved her so much.

"Edward," she murmured, and I was at her side in an instant.

"He's right here, Bella," Carlisle told her. He could see I was holding my breath. He smiled at me. _Well done. I knew you could do it. _I smiled back.

"Stay, Edward, stay with me…" Bella whispered. Alice went to answer, but I put a hand on her arm. Testing myself, I took a deep breath and answered her.

"I will."

It was a struggle, but I managed. Bella sighed, though if it was in pain or relief, I couldn't tell.

"Is it all out?" Carlisle asked.

"Her blood tastes clean." I ran my tongue over my lips, savouring the last taste of her. "I can taste the morphine."

"Bella?" Carlisle said softly.

"Mmmmm?" she answered. I stroked her matted hair, brushing it from her face.

"Is the fire gone?"

"Yes," she sighed. "Thank you, Edward."

I could think of nothing to say except "I love you."

"I know," she replied dreamily.

I couldn't help myself; I laughed quietly in relief.

"Bella?" Carlisle persisted.

"What?" she frowned. I mirrored her expression; couldn't he let her rest?

"Where is your mother?"

I had forgotten Renée and the danger she was in. Next to Bella, she mattered not at all.

"In Florida." Alice breathed a sigh of relief. "He tricked me, Edward. He watched our videos."

I glanced at the TV and VCR in the corner, and noticed a camcorder on top, with a red LED flashing, indicating that it was still recording. A twinge of fury ran through me. James had been recording his victory, and I had once called myself masochistic!

Bella was agitated now. "Alice," she said. "Alice, the video – he knew you, Alice, he knew where you came from."

My sister's eyes widened in surprise. Alice had not listened to Bella and James' conversation, not wanting to waste her energy adding sounds to her visions. She rose and quickly went to the camera, stopping the recording. She glanced at it for a second, wondering what secrets it held, then put it in her pocket.

"I smell gasoline," said Bella, and I could have laughed again. She was so observant, even half-conscious.

Emmett poked his head round the door and gestured that we should get out. _James' remains need to be burnt and there's too much blood here. If police link this to Bella, that's far more trouble than we need. Well, we've got enough trouble already. _His eyes flickered at each of the three vampires still crowded round a bleeding girl._ Plus, a good pyromaniac like me never leaves without blowing the place up!_

Carlisle nodded at him. "It's time to move her."

"No," Bella protested. "I want to sleep."

"You can sleep sweetheart, I'll carry you," I reassured her.

Gently, watching Carlisle in case I was putting her at risk in any way, I slipped my hands underneath her and lifted her into my arms, cradling her to my chest.

"Sleep now, Bella," I murmured, and pressed my lips to her blood-soaked hair. It was over.

Story

As soon as Bella was unconscious, my family burst once more into action. Emmett waited just long enough for me to carry my love out of the studio before touching a butane lighter to pools of gasoline dotted over the splintered wooden floor. Then entire wretched place was ablaze in minutes.

Jasper was struggling. His thoughts ricocheted violently from the murderous to the apologetic. In a moment of lucidity, he thought _Sorry Edward. I've got to get out of here._

I looked up at him and nodded to show that I understood.

"Carlisle," he began, "I'm going back to Forks. To help Esme and Rosalie."

It was a weak excuse, but no one let on that they knew his true motives. Alice did squeeze his hand, though, and he smiled at her. There were no barriers between Alice and Jasper.

Emmett glanced at me. "I'm going too. I need to speak to Rose." He was having trouble too, and Jasper felt it. He grinned at Emmett and they left quickly, sticking to the shadows as they walked.

Carlisle sighed. "Right, that leaves it to us to cover this up. Any ideas?"

Alice's naturally exuberant mind had already planned and discarded two dozen convoluted and infeasible plots. Cherry-picking, I began to form a realistic cover story.

"Bella had already left for Phoenix, so I followed her to talk some sense into her."

_Like the lovesick teenager you are. _I scowled at Alice, but couldn't hold the expression in place. After all, she was right.

"We came with you – parental supervision," Carlisle continued.

"And a girl's common sense," interjected Alice.

I scowled at her again, with more force this time. "So we managed to get Bella to talk to us and she came to our hotel, whereupon – thank goodness she's so clumsy – she fell down the stairs."

"That wouldn't have been enough," Carlisle said critically; looking at the state Bella was in, I had to agree.

"Okay then, down two flights of stairs."

"Glass cuts?" Alice reminded me.

"Two flights of stairs and then out the window."

"That's enough," said Carlisle. He sighed. "I suppose you'll be fabricating that, Alice?"

She was grinning from ear to ear. "Consider it done," she said gleefully. Darting back to the car, she grabbed her bag and pulled out a couple of things. "You'll need a new shirt, Edward," she said when she saw my questioning look. "Bloodstains don't go down well in fashion-conscious cities like Phoenix." She took Bella into her own arms, carefully keeping her away from her own designer top so I could change quickly. When Bella was safely back in my grasp, she held something else up: a box of contact lenses. "And neither do red eyes." Before giving me a chance to hand Bella off to someone else, she was pressing them into my eyes herself. _They're brown. Like Bella's, or almost. Not as pretty, but that's not really the point right now. _I smiled at her gesture of familiarity, before remembering that she probably brought these for Bella's eyes. _I was prepared for lots of futures, Edward, _she thought_. Don't hold that against me. _She knew me so well that sometimes I thought she was the mind reader. With that, she spun in a graceful pirouette, then danced off down the sidewalk. Her thoughts faded into the distance, cheekily considering the damage she would need to create. Despite myself, I smiled again. Alice would be Alice.

_Right, we had best get Bella to hospital, _Carlisle thought. I made to go to the Ferrari, but he stopped me. _Edward, do you think turning up with a highly conspicuous stolen car will help?_

"I see your point," I frowned. "What plan did you have for transport then?"

_I was planning to arrive like any normal casualty would. We'll turn up just after Alice has jumped out the window and make it look like it was Bella. Then we'll call an ambulance. She'll be fine until then, Edward, _he added, seeing the look on my face. _She's in no danger now._

Nodding in agreement, I set off after Alice. She would have seen this decision as soon as it was made, and was probably debating over buying a wig already.

The journey to the hotel was relatively easy. Any time anyone would have gotten close enough to see Bella, I heard their thoughts in time for us to take a different route. Neither of us spoke on the way, but Carlisle's thoughts gave away his feelings; even he, who had known me for so long, couldn't hide everything.

_How long can this go on? If he insists on leaving her human, to stay with her would be impossible. Has he thought about what people will think? Charlie and Renée would grow suspicious if he never aged, she would have to leave them anyway. _Abruptly, he glanced at me and cut off the thought. I realised I had been glaring at him, and composed my face into a more benign expression.

Luckily, we reached the hotel Alice and Jasper had been staying in with Bella before his thoughts could disturb me further. Quickly, I listened out for Alice.

… _they're here, must be, that future's just changed. Righty then. Edward! I'm coming out the window!_

I chuckled briefly. "Here she comes."

As I spoke, I heard Alice scream in mock terror as she came pelting down two flights of stairs. Carlisle quickly pushed me inside the hotel, taking the unresisting Bella from me in one fluid movement. _Make it look like you tore down the stairs after her._

Moving at top vampire speed so no one would notice me, I headed upstairs until I heard the violent smash of granite crashing through glass, and Alice's resultant redoubled shriek. I doubted anyone else would hear the excitement there. There was a brief moment of shocked silence, and then the thoughts of the hotel staff and guests exploded predictably.

_Oh, God-_

_What-_

_That girl-_

_Is she-_

_Ambulance-_

I almost winced at the barrage of surprised fear and concern, but a century of exposure helped me control the reaction. Hurriedly, I joined the panicking through as they raced – painfully slowly – downstairs, and began calling Bella's name. It wasn't hard to infuse my voice with some of the terror from earlier. Too easy, in fact; from the looks people were giving me it was a touch overdone. I was reminded of a conversation I had had with Bella – was it really only yesterday morning? – where I had recommended telling Charlie I was her boyfriend and she had replied, so shyly, "I was under the impression you were something more." I had made little of it at the time, at least not out loud, but now I realised exactly how right she was.

By the time I got outside, Alice and Carlisle were already fussing over Bella's limp body. Alice was behaving as a teenage best friend would: gasping, on the border of hysteria (also a little overdone), but still managing to help Carlisle who was playing the professional doctor, already splinting Bella's leg. Alice prevented the swelling crowd from seeing that actually the splint was already in place.

"Dad! Alice!" I yelled, and the crowd parted to let me through. "Is she alright?"

"No, Edward. What on earth happened? Where were you?" Even though I knew it was faked, I still recoiled from my father's hard anger, because I knew it was true. Bella couldn't be blamed for this, for trying to save her mother; it was my fault in that I had put her in danger in the first place.

"She was walking ahead of me, I couldn't catch her, you know how clumsy she is-"

"Save it for Bella, Edward!" Alice snapped.

"I've phoned an ambulance!" someone said; the hotel manager, I realised. "They'll be here in two minutes."

Had Alice deliberately picked out a hotel close to the hospital? Had one or more futures necessitated it? I glanced at her and she answered in her head.

_I thought it would be best if we were near – just in case. Even just because of Jasper._

I nodded. It would always be dangerous for Bella to be around vampires. No matter whom those vampires were.

For a couple of minutes, Carlisle started pretending to stitch up Bella's head wound. Alice and I prevented the onlookers from realising that this, too, had already been done. I stroked my Bella's hair, not breathing as the dried blood transferred to my hand. I should really have stopped – she was in enough danger as it was – but I couldn't. In the meadow I had compared her to an addictive drug, but then I had meant her blood. Only a few days later, her blood wasn't the greatest temptation. It was her: her mind, her body, her heart and her soul. For a brief moment I wondered if I even _could_ hurt her, but I dismissed that speculation immediately. I knew I would.

With a squeal of brakes and the siren blaring, the ambulance pulled up. Two paramedics hopped out efficiently, and started assessing Bella's condition.

Carlisle stepped in. "I'm Dr Cullen. This is my son's girlfriend." He launched into a list of her injuries and the medication he'd given her, while the paramedics grabbed a stretcher, listening intently, and loaded Bella onto it. I stayed by her side, always touching her – her hair, her arm, her cheek – as I got into the ambulance with her.

"Hey son, can you stay with your sister here and let your dad and me do our jobs?" one of the paramedics asked. His tone was patronizing. _Stupid kid getting in the way, _he grumbled mentally.

I forced myself to remain calm. "Please let me stay with her," I murmured, my eyes never leaving Bella's bruised and bloodied face.

The paramedic made to argue with me but his colleague stepped in. "Sure you can, kid," he said and glared at the first man. _Can't Stan see how in love the guy is? Leave him be, you big idiot._

"Thank you," I said simply, still focused on Bella's lavender eyelids, as Carlisle stepped in beside me.

"I'll call Charlie," Alice chirped from the pavement. "And get Renée's number. I'll hitch a lift to the hospital afterwards." _Charlie's gonna hate you, Edward, _she warned me. I grimaced; I had already guessed that. Our first date in his eyes, and already I had upset her so much that she had left Forks, shouted at him, and stormed off without saying goodbye. Then, when I'd gone to find her again, she had ended up with multiple fractures and cuts and bruises all over her body. Not to mention the loss of blood which could be directly blamed on me, though of course I would never tell Charlie that.

"Thanks, Alice," I said, and I knew she heard the sarcasm.

_Not my fault, _she retorted. "You're welcome."

The ambulance pulled away.

Reactions

The flurry of activity at the hospital was irritating. The blood transfusions they gave Bella were annoying too, though I could not deny that they made things a lot easier.

But the thing that worried me most was not the close proximity of blood, spilling out around me in the emergency ward. It was not the operations Bella was made to undergo. It was not the reactions of her parents. It wasn't even the fear that Bella wouldn't make it, thanks to Alice, who had shown me that she would wake up soon, that there was no way she would die – I flinched again at the thought – as a result of this. No, what preyed on my mind for days was that this was my fault, at least partially, and that I knew this couldn't go on.

This was only compounded when Renée arrived at the hospital only hours after Bella's admittance to the emergency ward. I was keeping up my silent vigil by Bella's bedside when I heard her approaching.

_Oh Bella, honey, what on earth happened this time, and back in Phoenix too. I should have been here for you sweetie, God only knows what would've happened if that wonderful doctor wasn't there._

Renée sounded like a caring person, and obviously adored her daughter. Listening to her mind was like watching a butterfly darting from flower to flower: quick to jump from one train of thought to another, but now revolving round Bella. Her thoughts hadn't once left her daughter as she worked her way through the hospital to Bella's ward. She was barely diverted by Carlisle's appearance, which both surprised and impressed me. Despite her flighty thoughts, she was devoted to her husband. Loyal and true. Like her daughter.

Alice slipped into the room first to sit beside me on the distastefully turquoise recliner.

_Renée seems nice. Very grateful to Carlisle. Likes me, of course. She seemed surprised Bella had such good friends already. _Alice was a little smug at Renée's description of her role in Bella's life.

I spoke at a pitch and velocity indecipherable to human ears. "What does she think of me? I assume Charlie spoke to her, but I wasn't listening when you spoke to her. " Bella had been tossing slightly in her drug-induced sleep whilst Renée conversed with Carlisle and Alice. I couldn't tear my senses away from her.

_I was getting to that. Very surprised Bella's got a boyfriend, and I think she's worried about her making the same "mistake" _– I could hear the quotation marks – _as she did, i.e. marrying young. Judging from her face, though, she's waiting to form an impression when she sees you. And no, she doesn't blame you._

I relaxed in relief. I still blamed myself, but it would be easier for Bella if at least one of her parents accepted me. And if I was brutally honest, it was nice to know, just for myself, that Bella's mother didn't blame me, even if she didn't know the entire story. It was irrational, it didn't change anything, but it was still nice to know.

The door opened and Renée walked in. Completely ignoring Alice and me, she flew to her daughter's side – she had none of Bella's clumsiness – and stopped abruptly, seeing Bella's injuries for the first time. Involuntarily, the tears started pouring down her face. Curiously, I breathed in deeply to catch her scent. It was similar to Bella's, and I could still smell the freesias and orange blossoms I loved so much, but it was less forceful; it didn't slam me in the face and burn my throat the way Bella's did. There was another element to the scent as well – sharp, bitter, but still pleasant. Creosote?

As I was comparing the scents of mother and daughter, Renée remembered she was not alone in the room. Pulling herself together, she turned to face us.

_Lovely girl, that… Alison, was that her name? I didn't realise she was so close to Bella, I swear she's never mentioned her in our emails. And… _her eyes flicked to my face and widened in surprise. I watched her gaze flicker over my body, but her thoughts were not the desiring or indecent ones I had come to expect over the decades. I was surprised again as I heard… concern.

_This__ is Bella's boyfriend? Please tell me she's not going for looks. If he's a player and he's going for my Bella the second she leaves me… God, I hope it's not serious. I can't let her make my mistakes; I'd better talk to her._ The thoughts flew through her mind and I found myself warming to Renée further.

"Hello, you must be Edward?" I heard the question in her voice, and I knew she was wishing I wasn't. Charlie had already spoken to her about what a bad influence I was. She thought my looks would influence Bella's feelings for me.

"Yes, I am. I'm very pleased to meet you, Mrs Dwyer." Too late, I realised Bella had never told me her mother's new married name. I could only hope to alert Bella to that before she spoke to her mother about me. Or perhaps Renée would assume Bella had forgotten about telling me.

"Just call me Renée," she replied. That would have been much easier from the start. "You're Alice's brother?"

"Adopted brother, yes."

That surprised her. _But the similarities… those eyes, I've never seen anything like them. Topaz? _she questioned herself. She was obviously just as perceptive as her daughter. "And you're Bella's boyfriend." _Who I've never heard of until today._

"Yes." I smiled as Alice's thoughts grew more and more high-pitched. "Only for a few days, though," I added in response to her thought; it felt strange to say it. Despite my unnaturally long existence, it felt like I'd know Bella forever.

Renée relaxed visibly as she processed this. In her eyes, it made me less of a threat – a rather ironic choice of word – until something occurred to her.

"So… it was very-" she struggled for a word. "Caring of you to come after her to Phoenix." _After a few days of going out? And she tried to leave him?_

"I felt guilty," I told her truthfully. "I thought it was my fault she wanted to leave" – I _knew_ it was my fault that she _had_ to leave, I mentally corrected myself – "and I couldn't bear the thought of not seeing her again." I cut myself off then, listening anxiously to Renée's mind. Was that too much?

_Wow. No ordinary boy would say that. Either he's a very good liar or he really does care about her. _Both, I thought. But in this context, the latter.

Alice giggled, spoiling the moment. "You'll have to excuse Edward's way of talking. He hasn't really had a girlfriend before –" I glared at her. _It's true!_ she thought "– and he's developed a rather annoying habit of talking about nothing else." _Again, true, _she thought to me. _Plus, please remember you're a seventeen-year-old boy talking about a girl he barely knows and has never snogged._

I abstained from punching Alice in the face with great effort. She well and truly filled the family of role of the annoying little sister.

Renée laughed. _Not a player then, _she thought, relieved.

As though Bella had heard her mother's laughter, she turned over in her sleep, murmuring something. She was too heavily drugged to form coherent words. Immediately, I was at her side, smoothing her hair back where it had fallen over her face, so I could see her expression. A grimace of pain.

_She's fine, Edward, _Alice reassured me. She got up too, and put a hand on my shoulder. "She's fine," she repeated out loud.

Renée was on the other side of the bed, focused on her daughter's face, but still watching me. _He looks so… scared. And protective_. Bella shifted again, and Renée reached down to stroke her cheek. I stopped myself from mirroring the gesture.

Alice pulled at my arm slightly. "We'll get out of your way," she said to Renée. I shot an anguished glance at her. _I'll see if anything will happen. Give her some time with her daughter._

Renée smiled gratefully, and pulled a hard plastic chair up next to Bella's pillow. Her thoughts were appreciative, but drifted quickly away from Alice and me, entirely focusing on Bella. Alice dragged me out the door.

Carlisle was waiting outside. He smiled at me. "The transfusions have been a success. Just rest and recuperation now, so I'll be heading back to Forks." _I take it you'll be staying?_

I nodded. "I'll wait until Bella is discharged," I said quietly. "I'm staying with her."

Carlisle's face grew serious. "For how long, Edward?" He spoke at a volume no human could have heard.

I didn't need to hear his thoughts; I knew exactly what he meant. "I don't know. I can't think about that right now, Carlisle. Give me time," I pleaded. But how much time did I have left?

Alice, who was remaining uncharacteristically quiet, broke the silence which followed. "I'm coming home too. I'll see enough of Bella in the next few weeks. Well, someone needs to help her shower, what with her leg being in a cast, and I'll bet you anything Charlie won't want to do it." Thankfully, she refrained from making any inappropriate comments about myself, but her thoughts gave enough away that if I had been human, I would have been blushing as deeply as Bella ever did. My sister grinned, evilly. _Keep your phone on; I'll call you if there are any developments whatsoever._

It was difficult to remain annoyed at Alice when she was so supportive. "Thanks," I told her.

"See you soon!" she trilled, and danced her way out of the hospital.

Carlisle paused for a second. _Promise me you'll talk to Bella about your future. Not now necessarily, but soon. It's her choice too._

"I promise," I whispered, and my father, my creator, turned and walked away from me.

Countdown

For three days, I sat with Bella, watching over her sleep like always, and thinking about our future. Renée also maintained a constant watch over Bella, leaving only to eat and sleep in the room the hospital staff had prepared for her, and Carlisle had graciously paid for. Each evening, I left at 10pm promptly, then circled round and climbed in my love's window, like always. Occasionally I had to leave, to pretend to eat or use the bathroom, but I was always there, really. On the roof, listening to her heartbeat, so slow and steady in her dreamless sleep. Outside her window, watching her chest rise and fall evenly with her deep breaths. In the hospital corridor, always wishing I could hold her hand and tell her I was sorry for what I might have to do to her. I wished I could tell her that I loved her.

It was during one of these short moments when I was outside that Alice called. I was sitting on a bench in the hospital grounds, less than 20 yards from Bella's window. I had heard Renée leave to get some lunch and I was about to make my way back inside when my cellphone vibrated in my pocket. As soon as I say my sister's number, it flashed to my ear.

"What is it?" I asked urgently.

"Oh, hello to you too, Edward, I'm fine thanks." She tutted at my impatience. "Anyway, I only phoned to let you know that she'll wake up in four minutes and… thirty seven seconds, so get back inside. Renée will be gone for a good half hour so you'll have plenty of time to explain the cover story. You know Charlie got a letter of apology from that hotel? And-"

"Thanks, Alice." I cut her off. "See you soon."

"I'll see you first," she said, and I could hear her grin. Without bothering to say goodbye – what was a farewell to an immortal? – we hung up.

I leapt back in Bella's window, sparing only a cursory glance to check if anyone was watching. Now I was listening for it, I could swear there was a minute change in the tempo of her heartbeat. It was sped up, so slightly; a tiny marker that she was coming back to the realm of the living. Her breathing picked up slightly, too, and I began counting each inhalation to mark the time. Two seconds per breath, four minutes, a hundred and twenty breaths.

A hundred breaths.

What was I going to say to her about what I was going to have to do to her? How was I supposed to tell her that this couldn't go on?

Eighty breaths.

I had always avoided telling Bella how one became an immortal. I didn't want her to think there was a possibility that she could change that way. I didn't want to let myself think there was, either.

Sixty breaths.

If I was entirely, brutally, completely honest, I wanted nothing more than to change her. I wanted her forever. I wanted so much to be close to her, to kiss her without trying not to kill her, to embrace her without straining not to crush her.

Forty.

Bella couldn't see it, but every time she touched me, no matter how briefly or lightly, it was as though she were stroking my heart. She reached deep inside me without ever meaning to, altering me in ways I did not truly understand.

Twenty.

The desire she provoked in me was so potent that it overruled almost all my other feelings, it almost overruled my thirst, but it was a selfish desire. There was no way I could justify removing my love's humanity just to keep her longer. There was no way I could even consider destroying her soul to satisfy a purely animalistic need.

Ten.

So there was no way I could change her, or have Carlisle change her. Not unless her life was in danger. Maybe not even then. No, I couldn't block her entrance into heaven.

Five.

She would have to stay human.

Four.

But she would always be in danger.

Three.

Unless there were no monsters in her life.

Two.

Unless I was not in her life.

One.

I had to leave her.

Bella's eyelids fluttered, and she came back to me.


End file.
